Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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