Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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