just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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