Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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