You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize