i just had sex bonerless
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize