Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
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We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
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I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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