i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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