She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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