The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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