I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Come see our sink grown plant.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize