i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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