the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
