True but thats because hes a fetus.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize