Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
