It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes