does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
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So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize