There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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