my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize