I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
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I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
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Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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