I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
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Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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