weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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