What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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