So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
