I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
