do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize