idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
