well most of my day revolves around power hour
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
