I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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