This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize