Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
