Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.