glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house