I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
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Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
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Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize