so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
