wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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