I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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