I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
