i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
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Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
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I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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