Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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