Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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