Having a random hookup so left but love u
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
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i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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