Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize