I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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