Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
sarcasm needs its own font
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
