The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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