I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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