i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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