Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
