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I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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