i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
